I have been a porn addict for over 25 years. I was heavily involved in an evangelical church, and I was lost at the same time.  I had no one to talk to, and after being caught by my wife I ended up in marriage counseling, trying to consider that this thing could even possibly be beaten. At the time, I didn't think I could get rid of porn, and I thought that anyone who said they did was a liar.

Our counselor, who was from Mars Hill, introduced us to Rob's teachings, and to XXXChurch as well. But what really blew me away was that when I researched the church online, I found Walkpure. I began contacting Walkpure, and was blown away by the support, even though I didn't live in Michigan at the time. Over a few months, I decided that I needed a clean break. I needed the chance to start all over. I needed to find out if Jesus could begin the process of liberating me.

I listened to Rob for free online for months. He described life as being like a journey -- which was so refreshing to me. I'd always been taught before that change happens in a one-time event at an altar. And I've had so many altar experiences, with so little change, which has led to frustration with my faith, and a doubt that God even exists.

I began to see that my journey could have a plan of change for me, but that the problem was that it wouldn't happen overnight. This is a new idea that has captivated me. Still thinking about it now, I feel such hope that I never felt before.

I also began to realize that my clean break was going to mean leaving my job(s), having my wife leave her job, and picking up our family and moving out of state to GR and Mars Hill. I think we beat Craig Gross here by just a few months.

I love my wife so much, and I am thankful to God for her willingness to not leave me in this mess. I am so thankful to God for our counselor(s), especially our marriage counselor that helped initiate the healing journey that would begin in my life. I am thankful that she introduced us to Mars Hill, and we now quietly lurk in this community. We don't always know how to tell everyone our story. It is the most difficult thing to share. There is such embarrassment over the stuff I've looked at, the money I've spent, the neglect I once had for my family. I live in a constant fear that once my new Michigan friends know about my past, they will ditch me at once. Abandonment is the reason we addicts cannot get ourselves out of the closet.

Walkpure is a safe place where I can grow and identify and share in the lives of others who have gone through many of the same things that I went through. At least I know that in that room, every week, no one is going to ditch me. I want to be a part of the group for the rest of my life.

I am not going to lie and say that I moved to GR and never looked at porn again. But I will say that the healing that has taken place in my life has been unbelievable, and that if I do look at porn, it has only been the free stuff, and at least weeks or months since I last did it. In the olden days, it was hours. It is going to take time to get completely free of this garbage, but God is healing my mind, and he is using the greatest teacher, the greatest church, and the greatest porn support group to do it.

I am so thankful to God for everything that has happened, and I hope to be  part of this community for the rest of my life, unless God calls me elsewhere, which I am open to at any time.